You Look Fine. So What’s the Problem?

“You don’t look like you’re struggling.”

I’m never quite sure what struggling is supposed to look like.

Should someone walk around with a warning sign?

Working with neurodivergent young people in Melbourne, I’ve seen how much effort some put into getting through an ordinary day.

School. Work. Conversations. Trying to keep up.

And because they manage to get through it, people assume everything is fine.

Here’s the strange part.

We tell young people to speak up when they need help.

Then when they do, we sometimes ask them to prove it.

As a social worker, I find that troubling.

Maybe the question shouldn’t be, “Are you really struggling?”

Maybe it should be, “What would make things easier?”

Because getting through the day shouldn’t have to be a performance.